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  • Eternal Flame

I Didn’t Change, He Made Me.

By: Brae Foust


There are moments in life where in your heart, a switch is flicked and your entire soul

changes in an instance. Moments that change your mind and heart on everything that you thought you cared about. These moments only come in a handful for all of us in our lives, but I never felt a flick of a switch so hard as on July 10th.

My wife and I were excited to begin trying for our first child after a year and a half. I was always nervous since I have always been a child at heart. I was always worried about not being ready and not being fit to be called ‘dad.’ Nevertheless, my wife always wanted a child, and I knew we had to try soon, and just like that: a nine-month journey began.

Fast-forward thru these nine months, and I still am not taking being a dad as seriously as I probably should be during this time. I was still playing video games late at night, I was still lacking in doing my chores around the house on time, nor did I like prepping things for the arrival of our kid. All I wanted to do was focus on my degree plan and hang out with my wife, just the two of us.

Even on the day of delivery when my wife is in her gown, her back has a giant needle with an epidural shooting into her spine, I still didn’t feel surreal about the moment that was going to happen. I could remember playing a mobile game on my phone while also trying to get my wife to fall asleep. The big moment finally came, however, and it was time to meet our child.

I was helping with my wife’s legs as our doctor came in ready to pull our kid out into the world. We had let the meds fade from her system to have an easier time delivering him and a quicker time delivering him. It only took 5 pushes from my wife to get the job done and I couldn’t have been prouder of her. On the fifth push, the doctor pulled an 8 lb. 9 oz. baby boy with a head full of hair and a cry to the world to let it know he was here.

I was in awe. I was in amazement. I was left now a changed man! As the nurses cleaned him up, wrapped in a blanket and placed under a heater, I couldn’t help but stand over him as he cried. Telling him “Hey Rhett. Hey bubba, daddy’s here. Daddy’s right here.” As I talked to him out loud with the heat from the lamp making my face sweat, I reached my finger out to my son. With closed eyes, he felt my finger with his hand and grasped it tightly for the first time. From that moment: the switch had been flicked!

I realized just in these few moments that all I wanted to do was protect this little guy, to do everything in my power to make him succeed in life. He was going to need help learning how to change a tire, how to swing a Baseball bat, how to talk to a girl properly and politely, and I wanted to be the man to help him. It was a magical moment that I will cherish and still do to this day.

I can’t fail. I’m in college now to change careers, and I have struggled even before my son was born. After that magical night, however, I realized that now: failure is not an option! I must pass, I must do a good job at everything I do, and I can’t stop until I succeed, all because of him. I must graduate; I must find a job, I must make a career out of my choices, because I want this little guy to have a good example of what he can be capable of if he tries his best. He is the greatest thing that has ever happened to me, as he changed me to become his protector, his guardian, and most importantly: his father!

Original Image From: Brae Foust

Original Image By: Brae Foust

Original Image By: Brae Foust

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